Four simple steps to appreciate all you are and define your most effective “who”.
Recently I was talking to an old friend about where we had come from and where we were going. It had been years, nearly two decades, since we had really sat down and talked. We had lead entirely different lives since our days as Jr. Leaders in our local 4-H clubs. Now both with busy families with kids in sports, spouses with careers we just happened to cross paths again and had the opportunity to sit down and really connect. I truly believe there are no accidents when it comes to matters like this. We really connected and found lots of similarities with where we were each going. The conversation came up about how could we go about recognizing where we had come from and how to really appreciate those accomplishments to shape and fuel “who” we can be now for the coming chapters of life.
How could we get in touch with the “who” we were at the different parts of our life and capture those attributes to shape “who” we could be in the future to accomplish new bigger, scarier accomplishments.
Here is what came out of the conversation.
- Celebrate everything you have done. Let it all out. Write it all down. Go back as far as you can to find all those awards.
- Go deep and remember what it took from you and “who” you were in that part of your life to reach those accomplishments.
- Celebrate all your failures, if you will even allow yourself to remember them.
- Create a map for the ideal “who” you can be for future successes.
Step 1: Create that list of amazing, I don’t care how small, accomplishments.
Go all the way back as far as you can remember, or find record of. Write down everything you accomplished that you were proud of. Did you get a certificate for good behavior in grade school? Did you win a sports award? Did you land that dream job? Did you marry the person of your dreams? Let it all out. This should be a very cathartic experience as most of us never really allow ourselves to recognize the masterpieces that we are.
For me this exercise what unexpectedly emotional, as I had forgot “who” I really was. After nearly five decades on this earth, my list covered all of two pages of notebook paper. Had I really accomplished all that? How on earth had I done all that? Archery champion, Honor Society, Ambassador to National 4-H congress, Mechanical Engineer, Husband, Father, Boston Marathon runner. The experience will immediately shift you from a feeling of lack or failure, to a feeling of creation and completion. Celebrate this list it is “who” you are.
Step 2: Unpack the five greatest accomplishments.
Go through the list. Find the five greatest accomplishments of your life thus far. These should be the things you are most proud of and took the greatest commitment from you to accomplish. Qualified for the Boston Marathon, Left a higher paying job for a job closer to family, Landed an engineering job straight out of college. Look at what it took from you at that time of your life to accomplish this goal. Look at what you were willing to sacrifice. Look at “who” you were when you were taking on those scary challenges. Capture these attributes in a list, these are the core values that really inspire you to get the work done. These are the “whys” that drove you. Family, integrity, honor, service, love. However these were showing up for you, get in touch with what they were.
Step 3: Capture and recognize your failures.
I know, what a bummer to talk about our failures. Aren’t we supposed to hide those in the closet? Get brave on this one, you will likely have trouble at first as most of your failures are hidden from your daily thoughts. In my life, I’ve been so risk averse that quite honestly this list was very short. This list however, will visualize the important fact that most of us, due to our primal protection mechanisms, have far fewer failures than successes.
Similar to the list of accomplishments, look at this list of failures and unpack what was behind the failure. Were you in a job you didn’t buy in to and just felt you needed? Were you “trying” to make a relationship work? Were you not bought in to the mission of your organization? Were you going big and came up short? Did you take a chance? Look for what was really behind the failure. These are the attributes to list that will be key in shaping your future self or the ideal “who” you can be for greatest success.
Step 4: Put this all together into your list of your ideal “who”.
The values of the successful “who” you were in your passed successes, the values of the “who” that failed. Put this together into your list of your ideal “who”.
I live to serve my family.
I live to create beauty.
I live to serve the community.
I live to create inspiration.
I live to create food for the world.
Whatever it is, this is the “who” that really drives you. Let the driven “who” look to create failures that are from taking big risks not from failures of giving up, failures of doing something that doesn’t inspire you, failures from playing small.
Take chances inspired and in alignment to the “who” that creates success in your world.
When we take chances and go all in with endeavors aligned with the values of “who” we really are, we are far more likely to create massive impact in the world and do so easily. The failures that come from taking chances in these areas are easy to celebrate and will act as great fuel to push you further.
Now go out and figure out these great parts of yourself. Take another step towards personal freedom. Win your Rudius and free yourself from the slavery of your own mind.
